Your face, but worse.
Your face,
but worse.
Your face,
but worse.
Your face,
but worse.
Hilariously Bad Poortraits for Just $40
Hilariously Bad Poortraits for Just $40
(Get an original hand-drawn "masterpiece" + a digital copy!)
How it works
How it works
Step One
Fill out the order form
Fill out the order form
You'll provide some basic info, upload a selfie reference photo, and submit payment. (Payments are secure and powered by Stripe)
Step Two
I'll work my "magic"
I'll work my "magic"
Using my questionable artistic skills, I’ll create a masterpiece (or disasterpiece).
Step Three
You'll get TWO copies!
You'll get TWO copies!
A digital version and an original, hand-drawn mistake mailed to your door.
Step Four
Hang it up (or hide it forever)
Hang it up
(or hide it forever)
Frame it, burn it, gift it. Your call.
No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.
No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.
No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.
Some of my "finest" work
Some of my "finest" work
The wall of shame
The wall of shame
"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"
– Meredith
"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"
– Meredith
"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"
– Meredith
"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"
– Meredith
"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."
– Troy
"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."
– Troy
"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."
– Troy
"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."
– Troy
"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"
– Norah (my daughter)
"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"
– Norah (my daughter)
"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"
– Norah (my daughter)
"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"
– Norah (my daughter)
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"
– Eddie
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"
– Eddie
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"
– Eddie
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"
– Eddie
"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."
– Colby
"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."
– Colby
"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."
– Colby
"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."
– Colby
“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”
– Dennis
“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”
– Dennis
“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”
– Dennis
“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”
– Dennis
You'll wish it was AI
You'll wish it was AI
FAQ
FAQ
How bad are they?
Can I request changes?
How long does it take?
What do I get exactly?
What kind of materials do you use?
Can I gift a poortrait?
Can I include two people in one portrait?
Are you left-handed or right-handed?
Who's the "artist"?
How bad are they?
Can I request changes?
How long does it take?
What do I get exactly?
What kind of materials do you use?
Can I gift a poortrait?
Can I include two people in one portrait?
Are you left-handed or right-handed?
Who's the "artist"?
How bad are they?
Can I request changes?
How long does it take?
What do I get exactly?
What kind of materials do you use?
Can I gift a poortrait?
Can I include two people in one portrait?
Are you left-handed or right-handed?
Who's the "artist"?
How bad are they?
Can I request changes?
How long does it take?
What do I get exactly?
What kind of materials do you use?
Can I gift a poortrait?
Can I include two people in one portrait?
Are you left-handed or right-handed?
Who's the "artist"?
Additional Questions? sorry@badpoortraits.com
Pricing
Pricing
Spots are limited
Spots are limited
For just $40, you’ll get:
One signed original
Because I want you to know exactly who’s responsible for this disaster.
One signed original
Because I want you to know exactly who’s responsible for this disaster.
One signed original
Because I want you to know exactly who’s responsible for this disaster.
One signed original
Because I want you to know exactly who’s responsible for this disaster.
Hi-res digital copy
So you can impress your co-workers with a new avatar.
Hi-res digital copy
So you can impress your co-workers with a new avatar.
Hi-res digital copy
So you can impress your co-workers with a new avatar.
Hi-res digital copy
So you can impress your co-workers with a new avatar.
8x10 inch 140lb cold press paper
Fancy paper, terrible art.
8x10 inch 140lb cold press paper
Fancy paper, terrible art.
8x10 inch 140lb cold press paper
Fancy paper, terrible art.
8x10 inch 140lb cold press paper
Fancy paper, terrible art.
Instant regret
Guaranteed.
Instant regret
Guaranteed.
Instant regret
Guaranteed.
Instant regret
Guaranteed.
$40
$40
Plus $6 Flat Shipping
BTW...I can actually design things
BTW...I can actually design things
Bad Poortraits is just a chaotic side project. If you somehow still trust me after seeing these disasters and need actual good design work (the kind that won’t make you question your life choices), check out my real portfolio at robbydavis.com. I promise, I know what I’m doing. Usually.
